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Showing posts from October 14, 2012

iPhone 5 Must Cure Cancer. Still not using it. Here's why.

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With 5 million unit advanced sales,clamoring zombie-like minions, and effusing praise from reviewers who have yet to hold one, I can only surmise that the iPhone 5 must cure cancer. Maybe it's the "special aluminum"that they've used now in short supply that cures cancer as well as diabetes, diverticulitis, diverticulosis, depression, all diseases and disorders beginning with the letter “D,” Swine flu, bird flu, new flu, and the heartbreak of psoriasis -- but we all expected that after the leaked photos. How else can this phone turned national panacea be explained? 
    They report that the iPhone 5 is faster, lighter, and so thin that careless altar boys have been mistaking it as a Eucharistic wafer at Catholic churches. And yet despite all its seemingly magical properties and powers, I will not buy one. With me, it's not iPhone backlash, a high selling price, or the lack of Google Maps and a scratch-proof surface that factors into my decision. In fact, I bel…